A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

 Oh my I thought I had already written this review, it's been a minute since I read it, so forgive me if this review is shallower than others.

Rating: 4.5/5

CW: some language (including f-word), not spicy, multiple attempted suicides

Ove is a 69-year-old man who lost his wife 6 months ago and his job yesterday. Feeling he has no more purpose in life, he decides to end his life--but is unsuccessful. A new family moves in on his street, and this disgruntled curmudgeon quickly becomes frustrated with their antics and the continual thwarting of his death. All he wants is to be reunited with the love of his life.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Hear me out. I know this sounds like a depressing book (I mean there are at least 4 suicide attempts), but it was seriously SO. FUNNY. I laughed out loud multiple times and found myself having a deeper appreciation for the crotchety older folks in my life. For me, it really seemed like Ove had led a pretty traumatized existence before he met Sonja, with his beliefs about what made someone good or bad cemented from the moment his father died. There is something beautiful about Sonja rounding him out, and even more beautiful when he experiences a similar stretch by engaging with Parvaneh, her family, and his neighbors. To me, this book is a story about community and the need we all have for each other and for a purpose. And to be accepted for who we are! I think there is an interesting parallel when Ove lets Mirsad come live with him and completely accepts him as gay. Similarly, Parvaneh accepts Ove where he is and does not force him to be different from himself, rather encourages him to be the best of himself. 

Book Discussion Questions:

1. How did your perception of Ove shift (or not) as you learned more about his past?

2. Ove and Sonja have some parallels in their childhoods (their mothers die young and each is raised by a father), yet their personalities could not be more different.

    a. Is this an example of nature over nurture?

    b. Do you think Sonja was better able to see Ove's worth because of his similarities to her father?

3. Ove has a very black and white view of the world. Though his principles keep him grounded, are they ever an impediment? Why or why not?

4. How do you think Ove's work experiences influenced his dislike of asking for help?

5. At what point did you suspect Sonja was in a wheelchair?

6. Parvaneh is a favorite of mine. Why do you think Ove believes she is "not a complete idiot"?

7. Which of Ove's choices surprised you the most?

8. How do you think Ove and Rune's relationship would be different if Ove and Sonja had been able to have children?